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WARNING: DON’T FALL INTO THE DITCH OF
DEPRESSION 2/04/15
DREAM:
I dreamed that I was looking out my window and there were
2 ladies who had come to a lovely shaded green grass area
and they followed a bushy tailed squirrel around and caught
it by the tail. I was reminded of catch the foxes that
spoil the vine. They were going to put it in their car but
then let it go. They stood under what seemed like a
canopied tree, although I could not see the tree. They
looked up and exclaimed that it was such a special holy
place, with the huge angel of the Lord protecting it.
I heard the Lord say, Had not the
simplest warning been heeded.
In the next scene there was a large
crane that drove up and was carefully maneuvering just
underneath the telephone wires. I noticed some morning glory
vine that had wrapped around the wire. The machine was
going to dig a ditch on the boundary line of our property in
the back.
Yesterday I was listening to Rick’s The
Call and he had shared this part about falling into the
ditch of depression
From Rick’s book, The Call
For days
I had been in a deep depression. Everything seemed so bleak.
Even the very sound of people irritated me, and any
disruption of what I wanted to do angered me. I thought the
worst of everyone and had to fight to contain the black
thoughts which arose in me toward them. I felt as if I had
slipped into hell and was sliding deeper into it each day.
Finally, I cried out to the Lord, and almost immediately, I
found myself standing in front of the door with Wisdom
standing next to me.
“Lord,
I’m sorry. I slipped from Your presence all the way into
hell it seems.”
“The
whole world still lies in the power of the evil one,” He
replied, “and
you walk on the edge of hell every day. Through the midst of
it there is a path of life. There are deep ditches on either
side of the path of life, so you must not deviate from the
narrow way.”
“Well, I
fell into one of the ditches, and I could not find my way
out.”
“No
one can find his own way out of those ditches. Following
your own way is how you fall into them, and your own way
will never lead you out. I am the only way out. When you
fall, do not waste your time trying to figure everything
out, for you will only sink deeper into the mire. Just ask
for help. I am your Shepherd, and I will always help you
when you call on Me.”
“Lord, I
don’t want to waste time trying to figure everything out,
but I would really like to understand how I fell so far so
fast. What caused me to turn from the path of life and fall
into the ditch like that? You are Wisdom, and I know that it
is wisdom to ask.”
“It is
wisdom to know when to ask for understanding and when to
just ask for help. Here, it is wisdom for you to ask. Only
when you are in My presence can you understand. Your
understanding will always be twisted when you are depressed,
and you will never accurately see truth from that place.
Depression is the deception that comes from seeing the world
from your perspective. Truth comes from seeing the world
through My eyes from where I sit, at the right hand of the
Father. Like the cherubim in Isaiah 6:3, those who abide in
My presence will say, ‘The whole earth is filled with His
glory.’”
I
remembered how as a new believer I had read this text and
actually thought that these cherubim were deceived. I could
not understand how they could say “The
whole earth is filled with His glory,” when
the whole earth seemed to be filled with wars, disease,
child abuse, treachery, and evil on every side.
Then the
Lord had spoken to me one day and said, “The
reason these cherubim say that the whole earth is filled
with My glory is because they dwell in My presence, and when
you dwell in My presence you will not see anything but
glory.”
“Lord, I
remember You teaching me that, but I have not lived it very
well. I have spent much of my life seeing things from the
dark side. I guess I have spent much of my life sitting in
one of those ditches beside the path of life rather than
walking on it.”
“That
is true,” the
Lord responded. “Every
now and then you would get up and take a few paces, but then
slide off into the ditch on the other side. Even so, you
have made some progress, but now it is time for you to stay
on the path. You do not have any more time to waste in those
ditches.”
The
Lord’s kindness and patience seemed overwhelming as He
continued.
“What
caused you to slide into the ditch this last time?” He
began.
After
thinking about it, I could see that I had become consumed
with maintaining the feeling rather than knowing the Source
of the feeling. “I took my eyes off of You,” I confessed.
“I
know it seems too simple, but this is all you did, and
taking your eyes off of Me is all that you have to do to
drift from the path of life. When you abide in Me, you will
see nothing but glory. This does not mean that you will not
see the conflicts, confusion, darkness, and deception in the
world, but when you see them, you will always see My answer
to them. When you abide in Me, you will always see how truth
prevails over deception, and you will see the manner in
which My kingdom will come.”
{End
Rick quote]
OVERCOMING THE
PIT OF DEPRESSION – BE THANKFUL AND GIVE
My generic personality, the basic one
deep inside is chipper and given to laugh easily. I
remember Rick Joyner saying that when he met Enoch in heaven
he was totally taken back by how joyful and happy Enoch
was. He exuberated so much joy and when Rick saw Elijah, he
asked why he wasn’t as joyful as Enoch. Elijah replied that
he had the same choice as Enoch but he allowed the spirits
of domination, control, manipulation/ Jezebel to affect
him. If you remember Elijah got really depressed and wanted
to die. And then he spent some “cave” time.
1 Kings 19:4 But he himself went a
day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down
under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he
might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my
life; for I am not better than my fathers.
1 Kings 19:9 And he came there unto a
cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the LORD
came to him, and he said unto him, What do you here, Elijah?
What really got both Wayne
and I was that Elijah said that we form our personalities
while we are on earth and we take them with us to heaven!
Wow that really affected us both. After that Wayne began to
pray that the Lord would heal him of his outlook because he
did not want to be stuck in eternity the way he was. And I
began to really soul search about my own self. I realized
how upbeat I used to be and how much I used to laugh and how
life had beaten me down. I saw how my joy had really faded
and I missed being me. We both began asking the Lord to
give us our joy back as it had been stolen. Since that
time, I have watched Wayne change and also my I am
experiencing my old chipper self again inspite of difficult
circumstances.
We usually make it a rational choice to
begin all of our prayers listing the things we are thankful
for. And it was only later I discovered that scriptures
tells us that is how we are supposed to enter into Him!
Psalms 100:4 Enter into his gates with
thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful
unto him, and bless his name.
In the 1970’s I was depressed and went to
a Charles and Francis Hunter meeting and in a very small
room of maybe about 30ish people Charles said he had a word
for someone about a star that loses its light. He said that
a dark star is one that turns inward. The gravity pull goes
inward and sucks the light right out of it. That word
really hit me between the eyes and I began making it a
rational choice to get my eyes of me and my circumstances
and find ways to GIVE my
way out of the void I was feeling.
I remember Bob saying that depression is
a choice to NOT love. He said that depressed people are
self-centered people. Depression is a refusal to receive
love and give love.
Anyway, back then one of Wayne’s and my
favorite times together was in our Jacuzzi. When I was
feeling depressed would play our thankful game of trading
back and forth and listing all the things we were grateful
for. Sometimes this took a long time and we were prunes
when we got out. It always worked for me, I felt so much
lighter and freer after our declarations. I had no idea
back then these were spiritual decrees that had power. I
only knew it was a game that made me feel better. Being
thankful for even the simplest things was the opposite of
having a negative outlook on circumstances.
Psalms 68:19 Blessed be the Lord, who
daily loads us with benefits, even the God of our salvation.
Selah.
I
understand now that those 2 tools of Giving and being
Thankful were very important foundations the
Lord gave me because I had no idea how difficult life would
become years later. It is important to note that both
giving and being thankful were rational, logical choices
that required my effort. They were not based on feelings or
my physical health or energy. I strongly believe in the
daily therapy of having something to give that is received
and being thankful even for the little things.
CONFIRMATION: After writing the
above, this was the first Word to Ponder that came up on the
W2P website:
There are times in life, when after a
heroic struggle, you retreat to a cave of isolation and
weep. Always know that you are never alone, for I AM there
with you. Beloved, yes shed your tears and die to self-will.
Then after having visited this place, listen for My voice,
for I do not want you to live in the cave. My voice calls
you to come out to the light and rise in the triumph of what
you have planted through your tears.
Ps 126:5-6 NKJV
Those who sow in tears shall reap in
joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, Bearing seed for
sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing
his sheaves with him.
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