|
YOUR DEEPEST DESIRE - ASK ME FOR A SIGN
9/25/02
In preparation to attend the recent Graham Cooke
conference, I was praying about it and I heard the Lord
say, "Conference, your deepest desire. What is it?" This
startled me, sobered me and excited me all in one
breath. Was the Lord God of the whole universe asking me
what my deepest desire was, and was He going to give
this to me at the conference? Woa. Wow. I thought a LONG
time about this before I answered.
As hard as I tried, I could not narrow it down to just
one request, one desire. I had two. Healing for my
husband and I, and for us to intimately know Him face to
face as Moses did. I could think of many more honorable
and scriptural desires then these. I apologized to the
Lord for this, because the pain and need in my heart had
become overwhelming in comparison to all else. I had
prayed and stood for years and years for my husband's
healing, and the pain of delay had made both of our
needs so pressing that it equaled our desperation to
know the Lord even more intimately. I felt the pulling
to choose between them and I just couldn't do it.
So I waited out the time prior to the conference
wondering if this was going to be the big fulfillment,
and how I could live on the other side of this if we
should come home disappointed. So, this is the story of
what happened. I hope this really touches you, because I
believe this Word extends a lot further than my own life
right now.
ON THE WAY UP TO THE CONFERENCE
On the way up to the conference I saw the milepost
number 222. This particular number is special to me and
my rhema has been sprinkled with it for years. The
number 222 in the Strongs Greek is translated
Alexandria. My name, Sandy is a derivative of that word
and the name Sandra means, "Defender of mankind." It
seems all my life I have been fashioned to be a defender
in some way or another.
When I saw the number, even though I am usually drawn to
the number, this time it was particularly quickened to
me. It was so quickened that it pierced my soul so I
asked the Lord why. I have seen the number 222 for years
and He has delighted me with precious gifts relating to
the number. So why was this time so important? I was
about to find out.
THE PROMISE
At the very end of that night's meeting Graham said the
following quoted 7 paragraphs:
"I came here with a prophetic Word. I believe God wants
to start us off with a promise. This promise is rooted
in the scripture: Isa 7:11. "Ask a sign for yourself
from the LORD your God; ask it either in the depth or in
the height above." NKJV
I believe God is giving you permission to ask Him for
one thing. And the answer is YES.
I Kings 3:5 says "In Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon
in a dream at night; and God said, "Ask what you wish me
to give you." NAS
Be wise in what you ask Him for. James 4:3 says, "You
ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong
motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures."
NAS
Understand this that every good gift comes down from the
Father of Lights. (James 1:17) Ask Him for a sign. It
could be something spiritual, something in your
relationship with Him. It could be something in the
natural. Maybe you've got a loved one with sickness. It
could be something to do with family. Whatever it might
be, the Lord is saying, "Ask Me, and the answer before
you even ask, the answer is Yes and Amen in Christ."
What you ask for is going to itself be a gateway into a
new experience of Who God is. God is going to put a
signpost in your life this evening. And when He gives
you what you've asked, it will open up a whole new way
of faith and a whole new way of being for you in Christ.
Close your eyes for a few minutes. I am not letting
anyone out of this room until you know what it is. And
the Holy Spirit is going to breathe upon you. Take your
time. Don't pick the first thing that comes. If you've
got 2 or 3, just ask the Lord, so which one of these is
it, or is it any of these?
He's saying to you, ask Me for a sign. Ask Me what you
want Me to do for you? Because some of us have gotten to
a place where we no longer ask God for things. And
tonight we're going to break that. He loves you with a
passion. He wants to open your eyes and see the totality
and the majesty that He wants to declare to you. Ask Him
for a sign, the answer is YES. Holy Spirit, come and
breathe upon us. When you know what it is, I want you to
write it down. And when you've written it, I want you to
stand as a declaration that you are going to stand in
this thing. Whatever this thing is, it is going to be a
catalyst in your spiritual development. An unmistakable
act of God that will change the way you think for the
rest of your life. This is where the Holy Spirit gets to
kiss you."
{end of Grahm's quote}
THE REQUEST
I closed my eyes and said, "Uh oh, here I am again." So
this is what the Lord meant when He was preparing me for
the conference. I was caught between two of my deepest
desires; healing and intimacy.
Only this time, the
tension was worse. Graham specifically said either
yourself or someone else. I thought of the years of pain
in my husband's need for healing. I thought of my own. I
thought of our pursuit and desires for deeper intimacy
with the Lord. People were standing up all around me and
I felt the tension grow as I sat there. Finally I made
my choice. I said, "Lord I know if it were my husband's
desire, he would choose to know You better. But I choose
healing for him. He has suffered too many years. He's
grown weary in the waiting." "However Lord, if there are
2 requests I ask to know you face to face like Moses
did!" "And Lord I am not sure what Graham meant about
the sign part. I don't know if Graham meant that You are
going to give me a sign that You are going to answer
these things, but You can pick the sign. I love Your
signs!" Once again I apologized to the Lord for my
seemingly wrong priorities, and I stood.
THE REVELATION
As I was standing there I felt the Lord was asking me
why I chose healing for my husband. I knew He knew the
answer, but I didn't know until that moment. The answer
bubbled up from the depths of my being. Of course love
conquers all and when two people are married, they
really do become one. We celebrated our 26th this year.
But even deeper, my pain of waiting for the Lord to
answer had decayed my relationship with the Lord.
My prayer life was dying from the hopeless decay of
delay. Deep down inside I was hopeless that I was not
getting through anymore. I have many wonderful gifts and
I hear the Lord in such joyous ways. But my prayer life
had become wounded.
Prov 13:12 NKJV
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire
comes, it is a tree of life.
In my past journey I have had many, many prophetic
intercessory assignments from the Lord. I have been
given the blessings of seeing and hearing what He is
going to do in the body of Christ, then partner in
standing against the obstacles for such. The wound of
delay had affected me so deeply that I was losing my
zeal for being an avid defender of mankind, the very
nature of my calling. I was stunned by the revelation.
As I thought of this, the Holy Spirit brought back a
phrase Graham had said, "God is going to put a signpost
in your life this evening." I burst out laughing and in
that instant I knew, I understood. It all made sense.
The Lord set me up! The signpost 222 on the way up to
the meeting!
HIS FIRST ANSWER
This was His answer to me: "Sandy as often as you see
the number 222, it is now to be a reminder that WHATever
and WHOMever you defend, the answer is and always will
be YES!!!!!!!!!" Only the Lord can turn one small tiny
request into something large enough to encompass the
whole world. Only God can do that. And that is the kind
of language that He speaks. Even without any answers in
sight, I had the awesome joy of connecting with His love
at that moment. I knew deep inside my knower that He was
rescuing me on levels where I did not know how to rescue
myself.
Ps 2:7- 8 NKJV
I will declare the decree: The LORD has said to Me, 'You
are My Son, today I have begotten You. Ask of Me, and I
will give you the nations for your inheritance, and the
ends of the earth for your possession.'
HIS SECOND ANSWER
On the way home, I was marveling at all of this, and I
suddenly remembered that if there was a milepost 222 on
the way up, there would also be a milepost on the way
down in the other lane. I was excited. My eyes were
pealed with the headlights on every post as they passed.
I wanted to know what I would see near this milepost!
Finally 222 came. It was pitch dark except for one
thing. I saw a bright red light in the air just beyond
the sign. It was a cell phone tower. I laughed with joy!
I knew EXACTLY what that meant that my precious Abba
answered BOTH requests!
I have lots of rhema (dreams, etc) where the Lord is
either calling me on the phone, or I am calling Him! And
I also have rhema where the reception has static and
poor reception. My request since 1984 when I wrote the
first edition of the book, 101+ Ways God Speaks (and How
to Hear Him) has been to hear the Lord more and more and
more and more and I have wanted to hear him CLEARLY. I
have wanted complete intimacy with Him. I knew that
Jesus only did what the Father wanted and so if I could
hear Him at all times, there would be no need for any
other gift. That may sound kind of simple, but upon that
precedent I figured all life could flow. I wanted to
hear Him with what I called clear speech… just like
Moses.
Num 12:6-8 NKJV
If there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, make
Myself known to him in a vision;
I speak to him in a dream. Not so with My servant Moses;
He is faithful in all My house. I speak with him face to
face, even plainly, and not in dark sayings; And he sees
the form of the LORD.
Before telling him any of this, I asked my husband what
he prayed for. He said, "Well it was really hard to
chose between my healing and wanting to know Him
better." I smiled with that inner prophetic poker face.
He paused and said, "I chose to know Him better since I
can't live without Him." I was touched at his answer and
then joyously told him I had him covered and spilled the
whole story! But the Lord didn't stop there, He had more
delights to come.
THE PROPHETIC BLOOPER
The next AM Graham says, "Hey do you know what? I made a
mistake last night! When we were doing the prayer thing
at the end, you know, ask me for a sign….I made a
mistake. And the Lord woke me up in the middle of the
night and said: "There's a lot of people praying right
now because you made a mistake!" I'm thinking, so what
did I do wrong? He said, "We agreed that sign would be
anything they want personally for themselves. What you
said son, you tacked this thing on that it could be for
you or it could be for someone else. And Gray, that was
not what we agreed." And I thought, oh You're right! So
Lord what do I do? He said, "Aren't you so thankful I
can cover all your mistakes?" I'm thinking on this
occasion, extremely so! So I SHOULD have said last
night, that anything personally in your relationship
with God, you can ask for and the answer is yes.
So this
is what we are going to do! Those of you who asked
something for somebody else, the Lord says, "You can
KEEP that one, AND you can ask for something for
yourself! And those of you who asked something for
yourself, you get to ask something for somebody else!"
I was probably the loudest voice in the audience on that
one! I had already asked for my 2 requests, one for my
beloved husband, and one for myself. It was a prophetic
blooper, thoroughly ordained by the Lord. The Lord had
the whole thing set up, mistakes and all! He is the most
loving awesome God!
CONFIRMATIONS
This was all confirmed the last meeting of the
conference when Paul Cain spoke. He was not there the
first meeting when we had prayed our requests. He said,
"I believe the Lord wants to give you the desires of
your heart!" I grinned at my husband. On the way home,
in relation to what Paul Cain had said, we revealed to
one another our prayers. My precious husband had prayed
for my healing, and I had prayed for his. We both
thought of the old Christmas story about the poor couple
on their first year of marriage. She had cut her long
hair in order to sell it to buy the gold chain for his
watch, and he had sold his watch in order to buy the
beautiful hair pin for her hair. My eyes filled with
tears and I thought that we are completely and 100%
covered in our love and in His love.
Matt 25:40 NKJV
And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I
say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least
of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'
HE KNOWS US EVEN BETTER THEN WE KNOW OURSELVES
After the conference was over I realized that for years
I have stood for the day when I would know my Heavenly
Papa as Jesus did, and walk in Jesus' anointing and even
do greater works, as the scripture says. (John 14:12)
After all was said and done I felt like I had blown my
window of opportunity for this lifetime request. When
one is hurting, sometimes they cannot see past the pain.
All they want is to be set free. I believe many, many
people are in that place right now. What a loving Papa
we serve! In the middle of the night this is what I
heard: "Could you believe for twice as much? An
anointing as Jesus walked, and more. Your on!" My heart
melted in one big blob. His love is so tender and He
wants to reach every hidden recess.
SUMMARY
Beloved of the Lord, there are so many in the body of
Christ that have grown weary with delayed promises and
delayed prayers. Do not be weary in well doing, for He
is our loving Papa. Through the years of pain and delay,
the stakes, rewards and recompense have only grown
higher and the Lord has multiplied the answers to your
requests. You shall have a 7 fold return on anything
stolen from you, and double portion joy for all your
shame.
As the Lord has schooled me in the Quickened Word
writing ministry, I believe that my forerunner life and
the Word that springs forth from such, is a living
parable for others. Because of this I know that my
conference story is multiplied to you too. I want to
share with you that the Lord is not only asking those at
the conference, but He is also asking you and giving you
the same opportunity to ask Him for your deepest desire
and for a sign that His answer is YES. Choose wisely my
dear ones, for great joys await you in the answers,
which will be much greater than you can imagine,
conceive or think.
"Ask me for a sign, Ahaz, to prove that I will crush
your enemies as I have promised. Ask for anything you
like, and make it as difficult as you want." (NLT)
This is our time and opportunity to make our deepest
desire known to God, to be strengthened, and then STAND
that He has heard our prayer and that His answer is YES.
As one final word, we are entering into Psalms 103 for
the new year 2003 (starting on Sep 15, Day of
Atonement.) As you read that Psalms, notice how it
centers around 2 themes: healing and intimacy with our
Papa, all to be passed down through our families. Praise
the Lord!
|
